Why Englishmen can't dribble
It's the bloody weather. Considering they spend half their waking hours talking about it, not to mention all that dreaming about sunny skies, we'd have been surprised if it had been anything else. So that's allright, then.
But it's the wind that's to blame for all this, you see. Not The Rain. Aha! Gotcha! And you thought the English were predictable. Stereotypes, I tell you. It's killing the game.
Gianluca Vialli and Gabriele Marcotti, writing about the how culture determines the way we play football, in a book rather appropriately named the Italian Job, say exactly this. The wind, it appears, makes it impossible for kids to control the ball, let alone practise dribbling. In Italy, they hate losing and every effort is put into win, at any cost. The end justifies the means. We all saw how the Italians suckered the socceroos. The Italian job, geddit? Basta, Vialli.
Zico Coimbra, the Brazilian legend who coaches the Japs, says that their players are talented but are too scared to miss. This, or so he thinks, has something to do with mistakes being completely unacceptable in Japanese culture. Japanese kids are punished in school if they get something wrong. If he corrects the team during a match because a pass was too long, they automatically start doing only short passes. You cross wrong, you better go home and take out that katana.
In Brazil, their general samba attitude to life apparently translates into carefree football. The Socceroos, rather obviously, didn't seem to have a word for defence in their sporting vocab. The limeys, not ones to miss a chance to moan about the Hand of God, have been pontificating in assorted rags about how this reflected streetsmart deception, which in their invaluable opinion, has more cachet in Argentina than honesty (I'm sure Victoria Regina, patron saint of land grabbers, would have approved). And also something about dribbling having more prestige in Latin countries than passing.
Which begs the question, why are Indians such crap at football? Hmm, let's see. It could be the foreign hand, it could be the Muslims, it could be the Communists, or it could be certain old men in khakhi shorts who spend precious practice time PT drilling. Wait, it could be the pseudo-secularists! It could even be Arundhati Roy! Medha Patkar! JNU grads! How about the 'freeloading working class'? Or the martyred middle-class slaving over their PCs ? Or it could be those funny chaps who insist on wearing white flannels in the noonday sun.
Me, I think it's Arjun Singh. Basta, Arjun.
But it's the wind that's to blame for all this, you see. Not The Rain. Aha! Gotcha! And you thought the English were predictable. Stereotypes, I tell you. It's killing the game.
Gianluca Vialli and Gabriele Marcotti, writing about the how culture determines the way we play football, in a book rather appropriately named the Italian Job, say exactly this. The wind, it appears, makes it impossible for kids to control the ball, let alone practise dribbling. In Italy, they hate losing and every effort is put into win, at any cost. The end justifies the means. We all saw how the Italians suckered the socceroos. The Italian job, geddit? Basta, Vialli.
Zico Coimbra, the Brazilian legend who coaches the Japs, says that their players are talented but are too scared to miss. This, or so he thinks, has something to do with mistakes being completely unacceptable in Japanese culture. Japanese kids are punished in school if they get something wrong. If he corrects the team during a match because a pass was too long, they automatically start doing only short passes. You cross wrong, you better go home and take out that katana.
In Brazil, their general samba attitude to life apparently translates into carefree football. The Socceroos, rather obviously, didn't seem to have a word for defence in their sporting vocab. The limeys, not ones to miss a chance to moan about the Hand of God, have been pontificating in assorted rags about how this reflected streetsmart deception, which in their invaluable opinion, has more cachet in Argentina than honesty (I'm sure Victoria Regina, patron saint of land grabbers, would have approved). And also something about dribbling having more prestige in Latin countries than passing.
Which begs the question, why are Indians such crap at football? Hmm, let's see. It could be the foreign hand, it could be the Muslims, it could be the Communists, or it could be certain old men in khakhi shorts who spend precious practice time PT drilling. Wait, it could be the pseudo-secularists! It could even be Arundhati Roy! Medha Patkar! JNU grads! How about the 'freeloading working class'? Or the martyred middle-class slaving over their PCs ? Or it could be those funny chaps who insist on wearing white flannels in the noonday sun.
Me, I think it's Arjun Singh. Basta, Arjun.
posted by nevermind at 9:33 AM
6 Comments:
Here is another blogger's view.
http://chennaikaran.blogspot.com/2006/06/football-fever.html
cept lucas neill for the socceroos - one game in the world cup and his defence has got him a contract with barcelona ;)
but very interesting concept, good post
anu, thanks for the link:-)
lg, thanks. think the socceroos played better, but got done in by the italian job thingie.
Hey, congratulations! (This is about the previous post). One foot in, and the other will soon follow through. After all, the journey's just begun.
Wishing you many many more "bingo!"s to announce. :)
Cheers!
~N.
sn, thanks:-)
N, yes, hopefully. thanks.
well we couldnt change their defensive shape and capitalise despite an extra man on the field, so honestly I feel they outplayed us anyway. But that dive was utter crap. Red green and white are not safe colours to adorn in oz right now ;)
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