A question of intervention
This chap, returning to college after a visit home, obviously believed in social capital, though he may not have heard of it. He did something about what he saw. Now he’s dead, as a consequence.
Some time ago, I met a teenager who’d been gang-raped. A regular, sober, sorted out kid, getting good grades and headed for University who’d taken a short-cut through a park. Now, you often come face-to-face with this sort of thing in inner-cities. Wide gaps between the privileged and the underprivileged, drugs, alcohol, migration, the clash of cultures and old-fashioned criminality all play their part. Years of encountering it sort of resigns you to some aspects of it, and you just buckle down and help people as best as you can. However, there was something about this kid that was different. Of course, she had bad psychological and not-so-bad physical problems. But what struck all of us was that she seemed so remarkably composed and dignified while coping with all of this. I mean, she had two broken ribs, a broken metacarpal, nightmares, flashbacks, panic, depression et al. But she was smiling on the surface and seemingly more worried about her mum than herself. And this was three months afterwards.
This started me thinking. What would I have done if I was walking alone through that park at the same time, and heard her cries? What would anyone else have done? Call 999 or 100? Sure. But that takes time. What else? I mean, she is getting assaulted while you think.
Some time ago, I met a teenager who’d been gang-raped. A regular, sober, sorted out kid, getting good grades and headed for University who’d taken a short-cut through a park. Now, you often come face-to-face with this sort of thing in inner-cities. Wide gaps between the privileged and the underprivileged, drugs, alcohol, migration, the clash of cultures and old-fashioned criminality all play their part. Years of encountering it sort of resigns you to some aspects of it, and you just buckle down and help people as best as you can. However, there was something about this kid that was different. Of course, she had bad psychological and not-so-bad physical problems. But what struck all of us was that she seemed so remarkably composed and dignified while coping with all of this. I mean, she had two broken ribs, a broken metacarpal, nightmares, flashbacks, panic, depression et al. But she was smiling on the surface and seemingly more worried about her mum than herself. And this was three months afterwards.
This started me thinking. What would I have done if I was walking alone through that park at the same time, and heard her cries? What would anyone else have done? Call 999 or 100? Sure. But that takes time. What else? I mean, she is getting assaulted while you think.
11 Comments:
blow on my attack alarm while simultaneously dialling an emergency number? make some noise in the hope that most attackers are cowards and will scoot? all easier said from the safety of an office of course. crucial question though. and so freaking real. what would you do?
don't quite know, really, which is why i was fishing for suggestions. perhaps even males should carry attack alarms, because noise does deter such people. i might call emergency first, yell to attract the attention of passerby next, and then if nothing was forthcoming, directly intervene. i would continue yelling throughout, because there is some scientific basis for that as a strategy. the Met suggests making yourself vomit, if caught in a confrontational situation, as this apparently has an aversive effect. i am curious to find out what people think of the idea of direct intervention, because that may be what stands between a lifetime of crippling sequelae for the victim and well, relief. but intervention is fraught with risk. btw, male rape does happen on the streets as well.
I always used to think that it would be a natural reaction to intervene - that is what I would do, what any decent person would do..instantaneously, without a second thought! So I could never understand why there were so many cases where the attacker(s) managed to do as they please when there was a witness - a passerby - around. Then I read "The Kite Runner" by Khalid Hosseini" (do read it if you haven't). For the first time I understood that it is easier to be an armchair moralist/idealist and know the right thing to do when one is far away from a situation. But if actually faced with such a scene unfolding before my eyes, would I still have the courage to do what I know is right? Would I have the strength of character that Thomas Grant had? I really really hope I do.
But in this particular case, and in similar cases where there were many onlookers, I am unable to understand how so many people could not come together to deal with one (or a handful of) attacker(s)? Why couldn't they use the strengh in their numbers to bring down the guy? If they didn't have the courage to take the initial stand, at least they could follow the one person who did and add their support to the equation. How could they all look on and allow such a thing to pass? This is just beyond my understanding.
Explore your questions, it will help all who read to pause and think.
~N.
["..just deserts...oh-so-cool intelligence gathering re: this person who was cultured in a petri-dish n then went to a musical.]
Off-topic, but just saw your serving of 'just deserts' and the petri-dish reminded me, did you see the link about who else is being cultured in a petri dish? It was the plague post, I think. Seems you're in divine company. :)
Hm, now where does the musical come in? Oh Nikita... *rushes for some oh-so-cool intelligence sharing*
;)
~N.
The park's big and it was winter. U could probably walk for 10 mins and not see a soul under such circumstances, and so if u were there, it's possible that there wouldn't be any passerby. As far as I know, there were at least 3 attackers. The point is, what then?
Good God!!
Call for help instantaneously, gather all of my courage, look for a weapon (a stick, stones, something, anything..), scream bloody murder and go for it..praying like mad that the attackers freak out more than I am freaking inside & just run away, giving both of us (the original victim & I) a chance of dashing to safety.
Given the situation, the victim and I against 3 attackers, the odds would still be too heavy against us.
Calling the cops would be the first thing to do.
After that, will running to get help be wiser or staying and fighting? Two against three is tough, but not totally impossible. But is that being realistic? What if it only leads to an end with two victims instead of one? On the other hand, going to get help might even take away that one iota of hope of defeating the attackers which I could have offered by joining the fight..
Whatever I do, howvever I do it; I just hope I am able to look myself in the eye again and live with the knowledge that I made the right decision.
Getting into the habit of keeping something handy - pepper spray, pen knife - would be a good idea, be it a guy or a girl. Something to defend yourself with and something to summon help - a phone, alarm.
--
Adding another twist to your question, given the same situation as above, what if the person who sees this scene unfold is a girl? Should she join in and help the victim? But two girls against three men could end up in a double tragedy. So would it be wiser for her to run to get help or to jump into the situation?
What do you think?
~N.
ok, so this is the consensus-
1. yank attack alarm
2. call the cops
2. shout for help
4. if 1, 2 and 3 doesn't work, run in with u r sticks, penknife, pepper spray/mace if it's legal in u r country (it's not in the uk). the stick, penknife thing is not a good idea, coz that can escalate the situation, unless u know how to use it.
5. i would consider the option of calmly starting a/any conversation to buy time (but i'm trained to deal with crises), as this is often effective-it's called normalization, which can often be effective as a de-escalating tactic. the key here is to converse 'normally' or about something 'normal'. tough but it does work, as long as u don't look scared at all! iron control. easy, no?
6. if u r a woman, dunno. what do the women think? all the above options exist, but i'd hesitate, for obvious reasons.
this has been a most useful chain of comments! its made me think quite a bit. and this list of options will stay in the head, one hopes. in a crunch period, all you do may still not work...but at least you may not waste too much time thinking...sheesh! what shd i do, what are my options..
how about a post on normalising conversations? i mean..going by what one hears all around in this country...these could be about the darned weather, the sun finally being out, or the need for a cup of tea!! none of these seem great for the situation being discussed though...
so how about it?
drat:-) i've brought this upon myself, haven't i? ok. will do.
Hmmmm....A really tough one. I hope that if a situation like that comes, I get the courage to intervene but I guess if I am alone the normalization is the first thing to try. But if all else fails, god give me the courage to fight. Cos I wont be able to look myself in the mirror next day if i run.
Just a disclaimer, I have only said these words, I still hope I have the courage to act on them if the situation rises.
hi sreekumar, welcome. tough, isn't it?
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