Small pleasures
I have got through a lot of my days in the past 6 months by "muddling through somehow". Not efficient, but still effective.
My therapist (I have accquired one recently, hurrah! Now I can move to California) thinks I am mildly depressed or dysthymic. Dysthymic is a medical euphemism for miserable, btw. It means nothing and everything, depending on your state of mind on that particular day and how you look at the whole business of 'labelling' the human condition. There are many reasons for the misery, from my supervisor falling ill (leaving me effectively to sort out a project/programme grant: impossible) to my not being able to get along with a deeply unpleasant clinical boss. My psychotherapist thinks I set impossibly high standards for myself. And I can't figure out how to fix that one.
And so I muddled through today. But feeling miserable for no particular reason is not nice when it's time to go to bed.
So I tried the chanting machine in the bedroom, which is an Indian metal box with a chip inside that plays 16 different mantras. This usually helps me unwind.
Then I remembered that someone had asked me for a reference. So I settled down in the living room to write it before I went to sleep. Since I couldn't hear the mantra machine from here, I reached over and turned up the music system, which had been playing softly for a while . Almost without thinking.
The music that came through seemed vaguely familiar.
And as I listened, my whole mood lifted. It felt as if a happy smile had materialized from somewhere and settled on my mind.... soul?
It was Ravel's Bolero.
I hadn't heard it for years. And it is absolutely my favourite piece of classical music.
My therapist (I have accquired one recently, hurrah! Now I can move to California) thinks I am mildly depressed or dysthymic. Dysthymic is a medical euphemism for miserable, btw. It means nothing and everything, depending on your state of mind on that particular day and how you look at the whole business of 'labelling' the human condition. There are many reasons for the misery, from my supervisor falling ill (leaving me effectively to sort out a project/programme grant: impossible) to my not being able to get along with a deeply unpleasant clinical boss. My psychotherapist thinks I set impossibly high standards for myself. And I can't figure out how to fix that one.
And so I muddled through today. But feeling miserable for no particular reason is not nice when it's time to go to bed.
So I tried the chanting machine in the bedroom, which is an Indian metal box with a chip inside that plays 16 different mantras. This usually helps me unwind.
Then I remembered that someone had asked me for a reference. So I settled down in the living room to write it before I went to sleep. Since I couldn't hear the mantra machine from here, I reached over and turned up the music system, which had been playing softly for a while . Almost without thinking.
The music that came through seemed vaguely familiar.
And as I listened, my whole mood lifted. It felt as if a happy smile had materialized from somewhere and settled on my mind.... soul?
It was Ravel's Bolero.
I hadn't heard it for years. And it is absolutely my favourite piece of classical music.
posted by nevermind at 11:29 PM
5 Comments:
Here's another piece of music from a long time ago. Hope it makes you dance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UE3CNu_rtY
~N.
Amazing:-D Thanks, I've been to that station and could just imagine it happening! So incredibly cool!!
Hope all is well with you, N.
Yea, like an 'art' installation. Only, it's performance art instead of a sculpture or something. Much more interactive, and way too cool! Glad you liked it too. :)
Alls great, thanks. Hope things are looking good at your end too.
A bit like the 'flashmobs' actually. And yes, things are looking up. Touch wood.
Glad to hear that. Hope the trend continues. :)
~N.
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